New Navy Recruiting Slogan

[Weasel Keeper 0]

With the recent Supreme Court ruling, overthrowing the anti-sodomy laws

of Texas (and presumably other states as well), the military has been

forced to revisit their "Don't ask, don't tell" policy as it relates to

both recruiting and retention of service members.

 

As usual, the Navy is out front and after reviewing potential changes in

policy and procedures has hired a PR firm to articulate the new stance

on this matter. From now on, the new Navy recruiting slogan will be...

 

"Join the Navy and You'll Never Have to Leave Your Friend's Behind!"

 

 

;) :P :D

 

 

*Weasy flees!*

[SDirickson 0]

Every cadet here that is a scholarship contract with the military has to wear a badge on their uniform. The Navy ROTC cadets are called "Blue Badges" cuz of the look of the badge. Well, one of the nice little traditions is that whenever an upperclassmen presses a knob's badge, they have to respond with some motivational yell. AFROTC its "Air Power!", AROTC and Marine NROTC both say something like "Kill, Kill, Kill!"

 

Yeah, well, NROTC is a bit different. We have to say gay s**t like, "I love seamen", "Its only gay if its underway." etc...

 

And me, well, my upperclassmen have me make up new ones every week. Favorite's so far: "Catapult me into Tom Cruise", "My thats a large landing craft you have." and "Me mainsail's been jibbed."

 

Funny, but they really do s**t on the Navy here in relation to the other branches.

[navychief 1]

The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on U.S. military recreation preferences:

 

Sport of choice for Marines: bowling.

Sport of choice for Sailors: football.

Sport of choice for Soldiers: baseball.

Sport of choice for Coast Guardsmen: tennis.

Sport of choice for Airmen: golf.

Notice how the farther down the list you go, the smaller their balls get.

 

Heh, heh, heh,.....

 

Navychief

[CowboyTodd41 133]

Sport of choice for Flight Simmers: Dodge Ball

 

and because I can't stand these kids at Oshkosh,

Sport of choice for CAP Kids: Marbles (just a joke fellas)

[firehawkordy 34]

I tried to think of a funny and witty reply, but being an ordnanceman anything I could think of was just crude and offensive. Better to let the jr. birdmen have their fun.

Join the Navy, learn a trade.

Join the Air Force, work on one system for the next twenty years.

[Seawolf 0]

I'm with ya Firehawk, These air farce guys get thier tails whipped so often at the E club the internet finally gives them an outlet. let them have thier fun.lol

 

I will say this in relation to aviation and the difference between the air farts and the Navy.

A Naval aviator said it best when he said:

 

"Flaring when you land is like squatting to pee."

 

Classic line and oh so true.! lol ;)

Edited November 15, 2003 by Seawolf

[Weasel Keeper 0]

For now will let the "Air Farce/Farts" line slide...

 

Topic was in jest, and was just phunning. All in good phun, but don't phuck with the phorce... ;) :D

 

I'll sick the ninjas on ya :ph34r:

 

Damn, am I stuck in the PHs cuz I was a Phantom Phixer?..... :D

 

Phooey!

 

Suppose I phorgot the Navy Beans weren't issued a phunny bone with their silly pants...other than Navy Chief, SD, and da Cowboy. :P

Edited November 15, 2003 by Weasel_87FIS

[Beer 0]

Speaking of recruiting...Weasel come to the the dark side!

Fly Navy, Fly ODB :)

 

Cheers

Beer

[+Fates 63]

The Airforce has their F-16's

The Navy has their F-14's

 

I hear the Phantom was a cross-dresser?

 

(sorry weasy...couldn't resist!...btw...come to butthead!)

 

Cheers!

Fates

[firehawkordy 34]

Weasel,

We are all brothers,some older and with more tradition, but sibling rivalry is just fun and games. Until someone gets hurt of course, then it's slap nutz funny :P

[Weasel Keeper 0]

LOL Kordy, it is all fun. I new this would be interesting since this forum seems to be packed full of Squids. ;)

 

*poking PHates in the eye for his comment*

Edited November 16, 2003 by Weasel_87FIS

[Seawolf 0]

For now will let the "Air Farce/Farts" line slide...

 

Topic was in jest, and was just phunning. All in good phun, but don't phuck with the phorce... ;)  :D

 

I'll sick the ninjas on ya  :ph34r:

 

Damn, am I stuck in the PHs cuz I was a Phantom Phixer?..... :D

 

Phooey!

 

Suppose I phorgot the Navy Beans weren't issued a phunny bone with their silly pants...other than Navy Chief, SD, and da Cowboy.      :P

:D looks like I hit a nerve.lol Cool!

[+pcpilot 181]

LOL! I love it...almost makes me want to reenlist just to razz some airdales...notice I said "almost?" ;) :P :D

 

Of course us blackshoes like to lump all aviation, Navy, air farce, etc., into one catagory...its easy...they all fly "united"... B)

 

former BM2...just thought I'd mix the pot a little, hehe. :P

Edited November 16, 2003 by pcpilot

[Seawolf 0]

Ok, for all those who want to read through this feel free. Its pretty long but the old salts will like it.

 

Some Ways For Old Salts to Simulate Being in the Navy

 

1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five.

 

2. Surround yourself with 200 people that you don't really know or like: people who smoke, snore like Mack trucks going uphill, and use foul language like a child uses sugar on cereal.

 

3. Unplug all radios and TVs to completely cut yourself off from the outside world. Have a neighbour bring you a Time, Newsweek, or Proceedings from five years ago to keep you abreast of current events.

 

4. Monitor all home appliances hourly, recording all vital information (ie: plugged in, lights come on when doors open, etc)

 

5. Do not flush the toilet for five days to simulate the smell of 40 people using the same commode.

 

6. Lock the bathroom twice a day for a four hour period.

 

7. Wear only military uniforms. Even though nobody cares, clean and press one dress uniform and wear it for 20 minutes.

 

8. Cut your hair weekly, making it shorter each time, until you look bald or look like you lost a fight with a demented sheep.

 

9. Work in 19-hour cycles, sleeping only four hours at a time, to ensure that your body does not know or even care if it is day or night.

 

10. Listen to your favourite CD 6 times a day for two weeks, then play music that causes acute nausea until you are glad to get back to your favourite CD.

 

11. Cut a twin mattress in half and enclose three sides of your bed. Add a roof that prevents you from sitting up (about 10 inches is a good distance) then place it on a platform that is four feet off the floor. Place a small dead animal under the bed to simulate the smell of your bunkmate's socks.

 

12. Set your alarm to go off at 10 minute intervals for the first hour of sleep to simulate the various times the watchstanders and nightcrew bump around and wake you up. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure you are tossed around the remaining three hours. Make use of a custom clock that randomly simulates fire alarms, police sirens, helicopter crash alarms, and a new-wave rock band.

 

13. Have week old fruit and vegetables delivered to your garage and wait two weeks before eating them.

 

14. Prepare all meals blindfolded using all the spices you can grope for, or none at all. Remove the blindfold and eat everything in three minutes.

 

15. Periodically, shut off all power at the main circuit breaker and run around shouting "fire, fire, fire" and then restore power.

 

16. At least once a month, force the commode to overflow to simulate a 'black water system' boo-boo.

 

17. Buy a gas mask and smear it with rancid animal fat. Scrub the faceshield with steel wool until you can no longer see out of it. Wear this for two hours every fifth day especially when you are in the bathroom.

 

18. Study the owner's manual for all household appliances. Routinely take an appliance apart and put it back together.

 

19. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint everything gray, white, or the shade of hospital smocks.

 

20. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls. Ensure one of these two rolls is wet all the time.

 

21. Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate collision injuries sustained onboard Navy ships.

 

22. When making sandwiches, leave the bread out for six days, or until it is hard and stale.

 

23. Every 10 weeks, simulate a visit to another port. Go directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Find the worst looking place, and ask for the most expensive beer that they carry. Drink as many as you can in four hours. Take a cab home taking the longest possible route. Tip the cabby after he charges you double because you dress funny and don't speak right.

 

24. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.

 

25. Keep the bedroom thermostat at 2 deg C and use only a thin blanket for warmth.

 

26. Ensure that the water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a flow rate that varies from a fast drip to a weak trickle, with the temperature alternating rapidly from -2 to 95 deg C.

 

27. Use only spoons which hold a minimum of 1/2 cup at a time.

 

28. Repaint the interior of your home every month, whether it needs it or not.

 

29. Remind yourself every day: 'it's not just a job, it's an adventure!'

 

30. Mix kerosene with your water supply to simulate the de-sal plant on the ship picking up JP5 in the intake -- if a lit match thrown into your coffee pot doesn't ignite it, add more kerosene.

 

31. Stand outside at attention at dawn and have the poorest reader you know read the morning paper outloud. Be sure to have him skip over anything pertinent.

 

32. Every four hours, check the fluid level in your car's radiator. Check the tire pressure and replace air lost from excessive pressure checks. Be sure to place red tag on ignition stating "DANGER: DO NOT OPERATE" while you perform these checks. Inform your neighbor as to the results of these checks, have him tell you to repeat the checks because he did not see you perform them.

 

33. Paint your house grey (exterior) include windows except for rooms you do not frequent, paint your car grey, paint your driveway a different shade of grey.

 

34. Wait outside your dining area as a family member eats a meal, then have that person serve you a meal prepared several hours earlier.

 

35. Shut all blinds and doors at sunset.

 

36. Clean your house 'till there's absolutely not a speck of dust anywhere. Call on a stranger to come inspect your house. Ensure stranger sees dust that has collected in the time it took to find him. Stranger cannot leave until he finds irrational fault with your house/belongings.

 

37. Hang Christmas lights in June. When the neighbors ask, say, "deceptive lighting."

 

38. Hang white lights when relatives visit. When neighbors ask, say, "friendship lights."

[snapple2993 0]

Maybe I'll put the Navy on hold for a bit more. :(

[switch 0]

Maybe I'll put the Navy on hold for a bit more. :(

See what you`ve done Seawolf!

Well Snapple, from what I remember you wanna be an Academy "elitist" so you

don`t need to worry about the horrors of the enlisted life :D

Edited November 16, 2003 by switch

[firehawkordy 34]

Seawolf you forgot one, Stand in living room window with a brck hanging from your neck, every time an automobile passes call your father.

[navychief 1]

TDY

 

An Army grunt sitting in a foxhole, eating MREs and wearing 50lbs of gear after having marched 12 miles, says: "This sucks."

 

A Navy seaman sitting on his 5' X 2' bunk, in a closet-sized room smelling of oil and rolling from the waves, which he shares with 6 other men, after not having seen the sky for 30 days says: "this really sucks".

 

A marine, doing push-ups in the mud during a downpour, after an 18 mile march with 60 lbs of gear, says: "I love the way this sucks, oorah!"

 

The special forces green beret crawling through a leech-infested swamp, eating nothing but bugs and tree bark for 6 days, sneaking around past armed terrorists, says: "I wish this could suck some more!"

 

An Air Force pilot sitting in an easy chair in an air conditioned hotel, holding a remote control, says: "no cable? this sucks!"

 

 

Navychief

[navychief 1]

Air Force/Navy Boat Race

 

The Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe race on the Potomac river. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before the race.

 

On the big day, the Navy won by a mile.

 

Afterwards, the Air Force team became very discouraged and depressed. The officers of the Air Force team decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Metrics Team," made up of senior officers was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

 

Their conclusion was that the Navy had 8 seamen rowing and 1 officer steering, while the Air Force had 1 airman rowing and 8 officers and NCOs steering.

 

So the senior officers of the Air Force team hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.

 

To prevent losing to the Navy again next year, the Air Force Chief of Staff made historic and sweeping changes: the rowing team's organizational structure was totally realigned to 4 steering officers, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering NCO. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 airman rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality Air Force Program," with meetings, dinners, and a three-day pass for the rower. "We must give the rower empowerment and enrichment through this quality program."

 

The next year the Navy won by 2 miles. Humiliated, the Air Force leadership gave a letter of reprimand to the rower for poor performance, initiated a $4 billion program for development of a new joint-service canoe, blamed the loss on a design defect in the paddles and issued leather rowing jackets to the beleagered steering officers in the hopes they would stay for next year's race.

 

 

Enough damage for one night, heh, heh....

 

NavyChief

[Weasel Keeper 0]

Yanno Chief, that would have been funnier...if it didn't make so much since...

 

 

LOL! :D

[snapple2993 0]

So if I go to OCS, and hopefully get my law degree before that, then I wont have to worry about all the bad stuff in the navy? It could be like a pleasure cruise. :D

 

But dont officers have 2 to a room, and its only a single sized bed, this is tragic B)

 

Ah, now I know why the Air Force is refered to as the "Business Man's Service".... god, my father would disown me if I went with the zoom zooms, and my sister, and her husband would never talk to me again if I went in the Army.

 

Guess the Navy or Marines is the only way to keep a family, and serve at the same time, although my dad does give my sis alot of crap for joining the crotch.

 

A Joke: "Someday I'll be like the guy from JAG, a lawyer, pilot, avenging angel, and SEAL all in one".

 

Anybody know how high in the ranks I could possibly climb as a JAG? Hope I wont be stuck with 2nd LT for my whole term of service :P ;)

Edited November 17, 2003 by snapple2993

[firehawkordy 34]

Snapple,

You could make it to CDR or Capt. if you stay in for your twenty. And good luck if you do join. BTW, JAG in my opinion is just CHiPs at sea, not too many JAG officers are aviators too.

[navychief 1]

Hey Snapple,

 

"Guess the Navy or Marines is the only way to keep a family, and serve at the same time, although my dad does give my sis alot of crap for joining the crotch."

 

Think again. The Navy and the Marines have a very high divorce rate. I can personally vouch for how hard it is to maintain a relationship, while being deployed nine months out of a year. Damn near impossible.

 

Were I to do things over again, I would have stayed single, period. A whole lot easier on one's mind, and not to mention WALLET!

 

NavyChief

[Seawolf 0]

Snapple, There is crappy duty in every service and just because your an Officer doesnt exclude you from it. Everyone works thier way up just as in Life. You dont join the service because of the benefits, you join for a deeper purpose.

I wont lie to you, it's not all fun and games. I remember spending Christmas Eve standing baby sitting a plane out on a cold tarmac or spending thanksgiving weekend on duty at the hanger .

Even with all the jokes and crappy things you have to do sometimes I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I used to wonder what my friends from High School were doing at that same moment as I was getting shot down cat1 in the backseat of a S3.

The important thing about the military and my advice to those who are thinking about joining is have a good attitude. Even when your standing a watch in the cold while everyone else is out drinking, or home on leave make the best of it and do it with a smile on your face. The guys that bitch and moan find themselves right back out on that watch next time around, but the guys who take it in stride and are positive have people like Chiefs and COs going to bat for them. Even when you think nobody is around people notice. Trust me someone is always around.lol

[snapple2993 0]

I thought it was kind of a pain in the ass, for a non-academy grad to get to capt., like there is some kind of stigma attached to it.

 

As you know I am a Junior at FSU, and would like to get the Navy to pay for Law school, but even if they dont I'll go for OCS with my bachelor's under my belt.

 

Chief, I was refering to keeping my family now, I'm actually suprised that my parents were able to stay together during my dads term of service. Think they may have had a hard time when he was bustin ass during the oil embargo.

 

My oldest sister and bro-in law are both out of the crotch, so dont have to worry about the MC breakin that up, although I do recall there being some strain while he was at Aviano during that Kosovo crap... man did he envy the AF after that trip.

 

back to me; I cant really see how the Navy or any of the services would pay for someone to go to law school (a 100 hour a week job, and costs money out the ass), and let them do something other than being a legal officer. JAG is just total BS, but atleast it gives the Navy some decent publicity.