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Beer

Favorite Sayings

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Similiar to the "things that are true but with a twist

What are some of the favorite sayings of our members

 

I have several

 

Motivational

"Help me help you" from Jerry Mcquire (good for those pre asschewings you are givin...)

"Luck favors those who are prepared"

"Look out for #1, and don't step in #2"

 

For those counter productive moods....

"Admit nuthin, deny everything, make counter accusations."

"If the minimums were not good enough there would not be minimums"

"Aim Low, you will never be disappointed"

 

Cheers

Beer

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Some of My favorite one liners:

 

"If you never slow down, you never grow old"

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

Couldn't resist this one: "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

 

And my all time favorite:

 

"You can sh!t in one hand and wish in the other. Eventually you'll wish you didn't sh!t in one hand."

 

 

CHeeers!

 

Fates

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Some good advice..."Never make fun of someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, because by then you'll be a mile away...and you'll have their shoes."

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I've got two,

 

Friends may come and go,but enemies accumulate. To make an enemy,do a friend a favor.

 

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

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On the side of my paintball tank is this one:

 

"grab a straw, cause you suck"

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hehe I like the shoe one and the light travels one!

 

One of my others is

"Are you picking up what I am putting down?",

 

this is one is like stamping your foot as an instructor to let them know what you just talked about was important and should not be forgotten...

 

Cheers

Beer

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"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose."

 

"This is an A - B conversation, so C your way out of it before D and E F you up, G."

 

"If you're not a liberal before 20, you don't have a heart. If you're not conservative before 40, you don't have a brain."

 

Man, there's another one that I'm thinking of, but I can't think of it right now... (oxymoron). Which reminds me of another one:

 

"Military Intelligence."

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"It's ok to Prick your finger, but don't finger your prick."

 

"Friendly fire isn't"

 

"If you are leading a flight and find yourself alone, your flight knows something you don't."

 

"If it's leaking then it's good to go, that means it has something in it."

 

"Propellers are only there to keep the pilot cool because when they stop spinning the pilot starts to sweat."

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PG Raptor,

 

"If you're not a liberal before 20, you don't have a heart. If you're not conservative before 40, you don't have a brain."

 

 

So true, SO TRUE!

 

Navy Chief

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PG Raptor,

 

"If you're not a liberal before 20, you don't have a heart. If you're not conservative before 40, you don't have a brain."

 

 

So true, SO TRUE!

 

Navy Chief

heh, I'm 23 years ahead of myself ;)

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My personal favs are:

 

"Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time"

 

and

 

"To Die on your Feet or to live the rest of your life on your knees" - Joeseph Stallin

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"They say that evil men have no songs, so how is it that the Russian has songs?" - Nietzche (Hilariously cynical IMHO)

 

"If I controlled the world, the first thing I would do, would be to cut out France.... and push it out to sea.... and sink it" - John Askew

 

"Hand me the mother f*cker" (What my dad would tell me when he needed a tool... real descriptive :lol: )

 

"Who's to say that 1+1 doesnt equal 3, why does it have to equal 2? While we're talking about 2's, what is a "2"? Can you be attacked by a 2? See what I'm getting at?" - Jeff Johnson (My former philosophy prof)

 

"Mate! Your fat, and I'll throw you in the river... now go away!"

 

"Hey! Dumb Rookie... get me another beer!" Ross Kravetz hears this repeatedly every weekend

 

Spin on Fates' "You can sh*t in one hand and wish in the other... guess which one will fill up first"

Edited by snapple2993

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Proof that women are evil:

 

Girls = time + money.

time is money, therefore, Girls = money + money.

money = (all evil)^(1/2), i.e. money is the root of all evil.

therefore, using a=b, b=c, etc, girls = evil.

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OMG

 

I cant believe that this one hasnt been posted yet..... "Sh*t Happens"

 

Oh and one more from me. I work at Dominos as a driver, and we have drop boxes that we have to stick our cash in after every run. Over the boxes there is a sticker that says "make that drop"........ somebody got ahold of one of these stickers and stuck it on something else in the store...... any guesses?

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LOL! Im afraid to ask, hehe.

 

How about, "Easier than a broke, ugly whore."

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Somebody stuck it on the toilet... obviously.

 

How bout, "Carpenters dream... flat as a board and east to screw"

 

Or "You couldnt pull a sick whore off a wet bar of soap"

 

"If the bass is too hard, you are too weak"

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"Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for." - Mike Nichols

 

"And Adam ruled, for he was the king. Until the day his will to be King deserted him. Then he died, food for a stronger. And the strongest was always the King, not by strength alone, but King by cunning and luck and strength together. Among the rats." - James Clavell's King Rat

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"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

-- John 3:16

 

"Great minds think alike... then again, so do ours."

-- My brother

 

"CRAP! I had another really good pilot related one, but I just forgot it! dang!"

-- PG_Raptor :D

Edited by PG_Raptor

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