That's the last time I have to go Shopping

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

 

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

 

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

 

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

 

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ' Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

 

 

And last, but not least:

 

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

[TX3RN0BILL 3]

[Slartibartfast 153]

Shopping with a woman... DONT DO IT...

 

[MaverickMike 10]

Hmm. Couple of good ideas there. Might be worth trying

[Derk 265]

A very realistic scenario !!!!!!!!

 

Hou doe,

 

Derk

[DaSpungie 1]

I worked in retail for 16 years in various stores, this explains many things.

 

you missed a few.and it is not exclusive to men women are just as mean.

 

we once at an unnamed garden center we had to ban all customers from the one staff / public restroom , it got so bad noone would clean it.

we set up a beautyfull garden area and put a potopotty in the middle properly placed with screening and signage all about.

this created more trouble.

but put off the one little old lady that was one of our targets she lived just up the hill and used our toilet every morning.

we would have to airate and clean it after her.

it helped with little boys who could not would not aim.

it is surprising how many people are offended by a johny on the spot.

many an irate woman would encourage her son to pee on our store since we could not provide "proper" bathrooms for them.

many a person discarded their dirty diapers in the middle of our plant displays.

 

but in the grocers I had the exposure to more nasty criminal and not laughable fun of all.

Enough to get me out of retail forever.

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

Yes, I worked in Retail too...lousy money..obnoxious Customers...crap basically

[JediMaster 451]

This is why it's better to work online retail.

[UK_Widowmaker 571]

This is why it's better to work online retail.

 

Indeed...my E-Commerce site is far more fun..and you don't have to take their sh*t anymore

[macelena 1,070]

This business was in the same mall that the pub when you tried to dance to the I-Pod and so..?

[Lt. James Cater 62]

Retail,

 

or as it's should be called, absolute hell on earth. When i worked for Target, i used to have to strongly resist the urge to kick some messy unsupervised brat so hard in the the head, their brains would splatter on the ceiling.

 

Back 90s when i was running my own thing, the temptation to pull out the pistol i kept just in reach under top of my desk was sometimes overwhelming. A few times, "customers" got me to the point where i was listening to their crap with a finger on the trigger, thumb manipulating the safties.

[+whiteknight06604 934]

Retail,

 

or as it's should be called, absolute hell on earth. When i worked for Target, i used to have to strongly resist the urge to kick some messy unsupervised brat so hard in the the head, their brains would splatter on the ceiling.

 

Back 90s when i was running my own thing, the temptation to pull out the pistol i kept just in reach under top of my desk was sometimes overwhelming. A few times, "customers" got me to the point where i was listening to their crap with a finger on the trigger, thumb manipulating the safties.

 

I work at Target and we were just switched from overnight to a morning logistics prossess...god some of the "guests" really need to be kicked in the skull repetedly,managment too for that matter.

[Capitaine Vengeur 263]

Retail,

 

or as it's should be called, absolute hell on earth. When i worked for Target, i used to have to strongly resist the urge to kick some messy unsupervised brat so hard in the the head, their brains would splatter on the ceiling.

 

Back 90s when i was running my own thing, the temptation to pull out the pistol i kept just in reach under top of my desk was sometimes overwhelming. A few times, "customers" got me to the point where i was listening to their crap with a finger on the trigger, thumb manipulating the safties.

 

Nice thing that you have never crossed to the Dark Side! I prefer shops where the owners content themselves with polishing their baseball bat or practicing the taser on BBQ ribs.