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Derk

Forum language

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Maybe it's time to shake up the leading laguage on these forums a bit :drinks: .......... Will take some time but the result is worth it !!

 

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s..." will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

 

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru! And zen we wil rul ze world! " :good:

Edited by Derk
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Zats holerady ze kaze heer, jost hav too haird how karibeanz tolk grin.gif

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Considering the EU decisions over the years this is borderline not funny...because it might be for real :lol:

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no łorries, zej kud fłorce evryłone to zpik polisz łor kroatian :rofl:

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Why is it that by the time you apply the rules, it reads like a bad Hollywood German accent? Ve Hav vays of making you talk!

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First step to George Orwell's Newspeak impoverished pidgin... Er, the second one actually, after the SMS pidgin...:yikes::grin:

Edited by Capitaine Vengeur

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shoot, we American's have enough trouble with English!! (or so we've told!) :rofl: This could make things much worse!!!

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