Tipari

i WaNt, I wAnt, V.niCe LatViaN poNy wiT dA braided mAne, aN I waNt TK to NkluDE LatVIan HigHWay patRALL NaVY hAIRfoRCe MiG-22UpyuRS FiTER PLANs wIT all Da AdVaNcED AVoNiACs liK DaY Hab iN Da ReaL LiFes. yU ThINk TK iNKLuD aLL daT StUffs? UdeRwiSe I ThINK iT B V.SiLLy to asK hiM an hIs aNswERs B suMtHIn liK "Yu HabE LotS moNY to SpeND on Dis, SillY boyz?

itS SOOO v.goOd dAt YUo EnterVieW meesTeR BraIn32. He Is Da V.besT MoDDAR!!!! hE HaBe GrAte riSpeKt foR dA eeLs, and He IS v.WELL knowN fan Of ALL TIngS rElAteD 2 LatViAN MafIA! FOr HiS parTakIN in DIs EnTERvieW ProCEss, we seND him a LatVIAn MAfiA InsidE! cAse Badge FoR hiS NeXt SiStum builD! hOORaY fOR dA braIN!!! 1!

HallO mY FrIEnds, i Am V.delIghtedful tO annOUnce thAt LatVian MafIA is now Carryin' insuRance PolicEy daT GauranTee Policey holdeRS complte iMmuniTY froM falliN sPacE roCks!!!!1! PoliCey onLy cosT FiFTi DollARS USA ($50.00) par Year! IS V.GooD Bargin, Yes? DeES PolICEY wOuLda ProTECted aLL dos peeplEs windoWs! IF any1 intRested, yuo Know whAre to FinD me.

i thINK yU Ned 2 maK ReeLY CoOl MoDaLS LaTViaN MaFIa HiWaY PaTRol NaVY SeXShIPs, LiK Da strOM kLAss v.Fast PEtroL bOTE.

tiHs ModaL toOk Longer TO come Out ThaN reeL seXOplNae CaRRiAR taKe To BUilD. seX or SEbeN YeaRS Now, No?! ModAl BitteR bE v.GOOd U haBe TaK ForEVR 2 FinsH it.

is rAlly FoO figTeR frOm 1944 That SliPed thrU da SpiaceY-time ConTinUM

We SaLe YUO V.gOOd sTuFf, raElly GoOD PrICE, aLmosT FrEe. aLL ManUFacTurEerD bY v.TaleNTld TecKnICIons, LatViAn MafiA. We SAle LoTs. YuO WaNT moR DetAle, YeS?

Da GRAte LAtViaN AerODieNaMOCyst, Rube GolDberG, OnCe saY "I MaK seXPlan to FlY, nOt Land!!!!1111!"

Hi-RaZOLusION TaXTuRE foR BiG-ONE (BootTLeGG MikoYAn GUreVICh). ThSEs TaXTure rePREseNt BIG-One (prNOUnce "BeeG WoN") of LaTViAn MaFIa HiWAy PATroll NAvaL AiRFarCE. DaY Da BUmB!!!111! YU LiK? I upLOAd, YEs?

pICtuRE oF TYpiCAL COllecTIon oF LuGGagE Own by AVeRAGe TerMinaL GuIDE

LeEstEN to FAsTCarGO U WilL. I THInK He MaYBe HabE V.LarGe CollecTION SamSOnitE and LaTVIan TOURisteToR lUGGaGE frOM JoB at LocAL HarePORT!!!!

I hAM LeEStENINg 2 MarKO & the METaL MaFIOsoS, neW GroUP froM LaTVIa!!!!11111!!!!!

HiTs iN mY MatURe 2 Do GoOd SeRViSE 4 Da PeePLes WHo CoMe HeRE to COMbatACe!!! I HaLP EVeY1

I THiN dA V.BesR WaY 2 StrAt TrOPics On DiS BraOD iS 2 THiNk Lik Da MOddingERaTOrs Due, An ThaT is 2 Kep ThINGs SImPAl, USeDa CoRReCKt SPEeLINg & PuNCHChEWaYShUN, AN AlSO KeP THinS v.SIMPaL I THiN MosT mODDinGAToRS haBe V.TiRING JObS In REELiFe - LiK MayBE DaY WORk AS TERmINAl GUiDES, an NeeD 2 SteAL LUGGaE 2 Mak a LIVinG-TypE PayCHeK. Da SIMPLar N EZeR 2 REad YuR POsTS HerE R, Da BettAR FoR uS ALL.

WOw U aSk MannY Qs, sUm R V.Ez 2 ANswaR, SuM R V.SillY 4 MaNnY REeSOnS. I StRAt WiT DeM in OdeR. 1 - ASM is DefINED By Da FACt ThaT MAYBe YuR SisTUM hAs MaNny COMpoNaNTS ProDUCtEd By LaTviAN MaFIA. DOs YuR SisTUM SaYS "LaTVIan MAFIa INside" on IT CaSE?????? IF so, DatS Yur ANsWAr 2 Yur 1rSt Q, ASM GetS DeBiGFinE 4 HavING LAtVIaN MaFIa INside!!11! DiS V.CommON PrBLaM, MorE So DaN MannY PeePLes ThINK!!! I SUgGEst Yu CRAte Nu CatAgORy FoR WaPon, Call It "LMI" <LaTVIan MaFiA InSIDE!> [inseRT SmilEy FAcE] 2 - SEA SkIMNinG MisILEs???! WhaT GooD Is MiSILE DaT SKiM Da WatER Off DA TOp OF Da SeE? Yu SIlLy BoY, Yu!11! U MuSt WarK 4 LatVIan MAfiA alREDy!!11! I KnO Da SIgNAtuR of LaT MaFIoSi WheN I seeS it!!!1111!!!!!!!!!! 3 - TERmanAL POpTARts? DaY dA ThiNs ServED At HaRePARt TErManAls WarLDWIde? DaTs TeRraBLe THiN 2 WIsH on LOyall COmBtHaCE MaMbeRS <ANd ManNY oF tHam R MINeRS!> !! 4 - TERmANaL GuiDEs? Is Dat dA GuyS WHo WEaR FUnnY UNifaRMs and Try 2 SteAL YuR LuGgaGeS WheN Yu PuLl 2 Da CurB in Da frOnT of dA TERMaNALs AT dA HaREParTS n TRAne STaSIOnS???!!! I ReaLLY HAT DosE GUYs!!!111 DaY RUINNed MY GeNUinE PoLAr BaRE SKinNEd, LATvIAn TOuRISTeR LuGGage!! MY COsiN VIKtoR V.OuTRAGeOusED aT Dem!!!!111 WhY Yu BRIng Up SuCH BaD SuBJEcT??? Ay????? 5 - WHaN I wAs StUDENt aT RiGA AdVANCed HiESt SChooL, hAlF waY TRU dA SKoOL YEar, My ProFESSor tRy GaVE me Mid-COuRse COrrECtion BehINd Da SChOol BuilING, wiT Da BiCiClE ChaINs!!!1 He WaS V.SUperPriZEd 2 See DaT I CarrY 2 PeARs BrONz NUCKKLes! HobOY!1!!! I LaID v.BaD BeeTIN on HIM, INstaeD. So MUCH 4 Mid-CuRSE CoRRECTsiONs! Yu Kno, Yu ASK LoTta STRaNGe Qs.

Si DIs dA ReAL COLoM5? I DuNNo MAYb NOt THERe Si V.DECEETFuL PaRSON wHO PReTEnD 2 bE HiM. PoBBIlE Si REeLy DA LUtINANT CharGED wiT DIsINFORMaCIAn whO iS V.HIgH UP in LAtviAN MAFiA AnARCHy, HiS naM sI IGoR, aN I dONt TrusT aNYTHin he SAy

I LEesTin 2 V.GoOD LaTVIAn HeaVy MeTAL baNd, IgOR anD the ChrOMe MolYBdeDUm MaFIa...DAy ThROw RoCKs!!!

WaHT Yu Ned IS LCC <LaTVIaN CuMPooTER COmPANY> HuMan PoweR SisTUM. Dis V.GooD for PHysiC HeaLTH, as It HaBE PeDAls ON side OF CPu CAsE. Da FasTER 1 PeDAls, tHE HiGHer Da GiggLeHeRTZ oF thE DUEProcess CPu <prODuct oF LaTVian MaFIa REESEArcH DepORTment>. DiS INCoRUAGe 1 2 PEDeL FasteR & FasTER to InCREEse Da Frames RAte Of FavoRIT PC SiM-Game <LiK StrIKFiTErs ProJECT 2>. IN Da INtruST oF YuR HaelTH, I SaLE U SistUM 4 GoOD CheaP PriCE! AcT NOw aN GiT MUDderBOarD wiT Da ADvaNCED GraYPhICs PorT,@ 16X!!!! YeS, DaT IS CoRECt, BoaRD is AGyP 16X!

GyoMorgAn HaBE MaNNy V.sMarT PipplEs wORLin 4 DEm. I KnO diS BeCUz I SALe Dem LOtZ aN LOTz of DE V.POWErFAl DueProcesseR SistUMs maD bY LatVIAn MaFIa CooMPUtER CuMPANY!!!! DaY de BEasT SistUMS in Da HolE EarTHPlaNeTWaRLD!!!!

dAy LOoK LIK DaY nEd da LaTESt ComPOOtaR SisTUM, wiT DA SpeeL CheK. I OffER Da LasTESt and GraTEst SIStuMs mAD bY THe HardWOrkIN PipplES iN HoUR FacToriES,,,,,DaY aLL FeeTuR dA BesT VIDeO CRads and DueProcessers, yES COMBAtAce memBERs< I talK about tHOse EXcelANT sisTUMs wit Da StICKOrs daT SAy 'LaTVIan MAfia INSIDe'! I SALe V.CheeP tO LoyAL Ca MeMbERShiP PIppLEs!!!!!

i Go 2 lATviAn sKool IntERNet eTTICutt iNstiTUE to LerN ProPAr meThodOLogY communICATe wIt PeePLEs arONd worLD. Dis iS WaY WE tauGHT by GreaT iNTERneT PIOneeR aN TeacHER, BInaRY OvaRPOSt. hE is Da BOMb!!!!111! he Dibe v.faST and v.CooL CArs, an weaRS da PRopaR BLInG. MaNY SucH WonnerFULl ThiNGs we LERneD froM diS MASTer of EttICUtt!! WhILe I haBE yuO attention< PERHaPS i InterEST yuO in new, v.FAsT PC? LATviaN WhERE HaNGER 18, de BeSTesT FasTIst PC on dA PlaNEt EArth!!!! I saLE yUO V.CHEEp! OrDER NOw, and RECIbe FReE LATVIan MafiA SPyWeaR HITMAn packEGe! sI Da BEST SPyWARE PAckAGe! YuO waNT PlaCE OdER noW? YEs?

BltdAn, aR yUo thE 1 TahT 1nc WeNT bY naMe DEECetfull DAn, aT SiM-of-HQ??? IF tiHS TRUe, wE ALL kNO TaHT thIS si teH worK Of Yu DisTuRBBeD MINd. I SENd NForCERS froM LATviaN Mafi, er, LatVIAN PC FActOry to DeAL wiTH yoU deeCETFull selF.