Capitaine Vengeur

When Chuck Norris faces Indiana Jones fencing with his whip, He just grabs it at His vey first move, draws it to Himself, and says: "So kind of you, man, I had broken one of my shoestrings...". When Chuck Norris faces Spiderman swinging between skyscrapers, He just catches him between two fingers, tears his suit to pieces until his naked body is covered by nothing but a blue and red apron, and says: "That street is dirty with cobwebs. It's disgusting. Clean that, Rosita. Right now...". When Chuck Norris faces Obi-Wan Kenobi with his ignited lightsaber, He just looks deep into his eyes, makes a single move with His hand, and says: "God, you're going to piss your pants...". And Kenobi repeats: "God, I'm going to piss my pants...".

When Chuck Norris faces Jet Li standing in a defensive stance, He makes him disappear far away just by blowing upon him, and says: "Chuck never chokes chicks, girlie...". When Chuck Norris faces Neo jumping and flying all over the room, He just catches him between two fingers, soaks him in His morning bowl of milk, and says: "Black is NOT beautiful to you, sonny...". When Chuck Norris faces Terminator carrying a Minigun, He just makes him rust at once on his feet by spraying him with some of His natural, self-produced liquid, and says: "Sorry Tinocchio, I have left my Swiss knife in my other camo vest...".

Whenever Chuck Norris makes love to a woman, she smokes thereafter. I mean: actually, without using tobacco. The last dude who dared to ask if it was the same thing with a man, got a full container of roundhouse-kicks, and gave back a full glass of teeth. Chuck Norris once tried to learn how to dance capoeira. In the process, he destroyed the entire school (I mean: students, teachers, the Big Boss level 12, walls, and even the next block). He then explained by a single word: "Fags." Big problem. Chuck Norris is no more a young man (I say it being protected by anonymity!), and the Japanese have not yet been able to produce an expendable remote robot to make his rectal touch. And last one. How does Chuck Norris compose his next menu? He simply reads the list of all those here who have posted on this thread.

Actually, I wouldn't employ as a desk clerk a man who has been trained in sixteen ways of killing with bare hands. Would I search for a bouncer, it would be a different story.

The news we have here: the young man arrested was known yet for violent deeds in Pamplona, probably as a petty rogue rather than a terrorist. There had already been some French policemen wounded during the past decade, but mostly by fleeing cars during traffic checks in the border area (one by firearm last year). There also had already been some policemen killed in France, in 2007: two Spanish from Guardia Civil in covert ops, who had accidentally identified an ETA commando on a parking, but had unfortunately also been recognized by them (also in the border area). About yesterday's crossfire, the news said that five cars had been stolen, the gendarmes had stopped the first team for his suspicious behavior, but then had come the following cars. And this time, one lethal bullet has found its way through the brigadier's body armor. About the French-Spanish collaboration, and the ETA activities further and further away from the Pyrenean border, the news also told that an important ETA executive had been arrested some days ago in a rural hosting, here in Normandy. A very, very sad, endless war (seen "GAL" some years ago). I don't know what is said in Spain (or Agentina, or other diaspora countries), but among the regional reputations we inherit in France, it's commonly said: "Don't mess around with a Basque".

Less than ten years ago, I still used to draw, and intended to make (and possibly publish) a comic book about the battle for Iwo Jima ("Iwo Jima - Hell's ashes", it called), seen from both sides, with epistolary sequences like those in Old Clint's movies. Of course, the American characters were also from the 28th USMC Regiment and witnessed the raising of the second "Old Glory" on Mount Suribachi, alongside photographer Joe Rosenthal, without paying much attention. And like in the movie, the main Japanese character survived, here by refusing to commit suicide on the very last moment (his best pal committing the unsightly suicide by handgrenade). I have given up the idea for long, having inked up nothing but a few pages. But at the moment, I had deeply studied the soldiers' and generals' psychology, events (unlike the movies, my book would have depicted the Kamikaze attack on USS Saratoga and USS Bismarck Sea, Feb. 21), equipments, chronology, topography, etc... in order to avoid any heavy mistake. I think that Old Clint's team has make an excellent job about this, as I couldn't find any serious mistake (for example, General Kuribayashi and Baron Nishi were not actually good friends, on the contrary, but both of them had spent some time in the US and met many Americans). Visually, artistically, and emotionally speaking, that's a great work. Concerning "Letters from Iwo Jima", that's THE work the Japanese themselves have still never dared to do.

Ough, yes, there's really a big difference. Sith have enough compassion to dispatch you with a swift lightsaber blow through your face, while Jedi are cruel enough to bore you to death with their pointless sentences and fake, own-arse-contemplating philosophy!

How do you recognize a Jihadist garage? He has displayed the Jihadist martyr model, with the Garden of Heaven, the fountains of honey, and the 72 virgins included!

Actually enjoyed that TV Movie: Sepulveda vs las Casas, and some of my favourite old actors. Would you enucleate me with an oyster fork for that?

What could be "the end of the World" in 2012? Oh, I see: election of a Latino, Socialist and gay US President (if so, expected to die by firearm before 2013).

Nice job, Private James. It reminds me of the story of Corporal John Spillane (USMC), a baseball star for St-Louis, who while aboard a LVT during the invasion of Betio (Nov.1943) managed to catch and throw back two Jap handgrenades, before a third one exploded in his hand. Surely ended his career, but what a feat!

When I visited the helo-carrier Mistral last year, I've been said that she participated in such operations off Somalia, but had no other close-protection against pirates than the few .50 the visitors could see. Fortunately, the French sailors can sometimes take advantage from the pirates' idiocy: some months ago, several of them had been captured after trying to assault a warship (perhaps frigate Nivose the BBC article talks about, I don't remember), having mistaken her at dawn with a bulk carrier!

A hoax, really. Not any word in our news, and never heard of that Bernadette Fabrique in our political countryside. That's typically the sort of fake, fake-sounding name Hollywood ignoramuses like to place in their movies and series, but which would make any customs officer here react on, would he see it on a passport (that's my job, by the way). Moreover, the French Navy seems to have a tradition of scuttling rather than being captured: that's the way the 4th Navy in the World has covered the bottom of Toulon Harbour in 1942. It's amazing to see how easily the jokes about the French Army's cowardice can be believed for the truth on some other side of the Ocean. But after all, French have their own well-anchored beliefs about the US Military, and any "news" about occurences of dilettante friendly fire (Brits in the Gulf know what I'm talking about), or light-hearted care about civilian collateral damages in underdeveloped countries (allied, neutral, enemy ones, no matter), are at first glance held for true, no matter it's a hoax or not. That's a fair counterbalance.

I'm not for death penalty, as it would create one martyr more. But would he be considered a martyr, if he were left alive but endured: physical castration, complete and definitive laser removal of any hair, surgical operations to have whore lips beyond all standards, and permanent face tatoos in pink and purple to perfect the illusion? Sure that after that, he won't ever be again an Al-Quada leader, or just the one who never appears on video tapes.

Traded beer for my favourite Norman apple-cider that a redneck-related pal provides to me: brutal, artisanal one, with a compost of apple slices fermenting down the bottle. Beats any beer for the first burp.

Safe for forgotten tanks, the most deadly weapons you can find in the Russian forests are Siberians, and clandestine distilleries. Both of them have greatly helped to win the War.

Agree with TX3RNOBILL. Really unprofessional. Next time, perhaps they will kill the wrong guy in Room 99 rather than the bad guy in Room 66. Perhaps they have done it before. It seems that the Mossad's best skill has been to keep his failures hidden. Until this year. Next time, perhaps they should dress as clowns rather than tennismen. It could surprise the opponent, and if they get filmed once more, they would be less easily recognized - and the pictures would be more fun!

We could suppose that Stalin has won the War just by searching in the woods and picking up thousands of once forgotten tanks and guns.

Hello Eraser. A few additions to your insane coincidences: About the American Civil War, I 've read about another weird coincidence, taking place at Culp's hill (Gettysburg Battlefield), named after the Culp family's farm. A member of this Pennsylvanian family enlisted in a Virginian regiment, fought in many battles and survived, participated in the Confederate invasion of Pennsylvania, and finally fought and died at Culp's Hill, some dozens meters away from the place he had been born. About the battle of Midway, I've read somewhere that it wasn't an affair of minutes before the Japanese wave takes off, but of more than half an hour, as the Japanese carriers hangars were not ventilated and most of the engines preparations had to take place on the open deck. If true, it would remove much suspense. About July 4 in American history, the article has forgotten July 4, 1754: Colonel George Washington leaves Fort Necessity after his surrender to the French (the only US President ever to have signed a capitulation). About the very unlucky Haitian family, I've heard of several Japanese families that had left Tokyo after surviving the heavy bombings of March 1945, to start a new (but unfortunately short) life in more quiet Southern Honshu: in Hiroshima!

Please don't, repeat, don't forget the instruction book. Trying to properly calibrate such a Byzantine device like the men we are, is as risky as using the metric system in Wales!

A deal seems to have been signed up for the sell of four units (400-500 million euros each), enough for each of the largely scattered Russian fleets. France has not even been a NATO member for one year that she yet worries her fellow members: that's typically President Sarkozy's way. This sell is a breathing of hope for the French shipyards workers, and a breathing of fear for the shore inhabitants of some unfortunate small republics. Life is like that.

Oh yes, sure that after that, the other killer whales will think twice before drowning another trainer. The Seaworld won't be able to make of this a regular, paying attraction. But it will be hard to find a frying pan able to accomodate such a monster. UK, has Henry VIII left an armor breast large enough?

Just seen him yesterday evening as the French-German TV channel was diffusing the documentary "Fighting the Blue" (UKTV 2006). Bob Doe was testifying about the Battle of Britain alongside a bunch of other tough veterans, including the late ace John Cunningham. Hard to think that most of the brave young boys these few very old men have known and flown with in their twenties have never reached their own thirties. What a terrible and fascinating era !

A real question, that is, when can a foetus be considered a person? Some people now want for a miscarried foetus the same things they'd have wanted for a stillborn child: giving him/her a name, and deserving funerals. In the past times, the question could have been the same for living, standing people to be considered as persons, integrated in their societies. In many archaic societies (some Native American peoples, for example), there were formal rituals for every individual to become a real part of the community, and before these, he/she was naught, only bearing a temporary, unofficial name, when having one. At the Romans, the newborn wasn't part of the family before the paterfamilias has recognized him/her as such. Wasn't it the case, he/she could be abandoned like a waste. As heartless as they could look, these archaic rituals kept close to the nature, not polluted by the Jewish/ Christian/ Muslim beliefs that placed the Man far above the rest of Creation. We can see today how large the way we have f****d up this Creation. I'm for a total freedom of choice for the women to carry on or abort their pregnancy. If the question can be asked for a foetus, a woman is unquestionaby a human being whose free will can't be suspended for 9 months for any reason. She can't be seen as a simple egg shell on two legs, condemned to carry on a pregnancy she don't want. In fact, even with an egg, maturing life can be swiftly aborted by simply raising your arse up! By the way, I have a real admiration for the women's ability to carry and mature life. If I was feeling a life growing in my belly, I think I would simply turn mad! Personally, I don't have children and don't want to have ones. When you give life, you also give pain, old age, and death. Strange birth gifts, to say the truth, but that's a package, you can't choose to discard some options. That's not because you won't live old enough to see your children use pipes and bags to painfully piss that they'll never use them. Moreover, I agree with some things that have been said before: we humans really become much too numerous and greedy for this poor little round rock. And the future we have prepared for the next generations is a scaring one. Sometimes, I think that the human kind should just stop to reproduce and accept to die from old age, as it would be a much more deserving, decent, and quiet death than to be drowned in her own s**t, which is to happen within the next two centuries.

Breaking news! Dmitri Medvedev is on tour in France, and negociations are taking place about the sell of one to four French Mistral-class command & intervention ships to Russia. Some papers say there would be a deal, some others say there will be none. It will be decided within three days. If four ships are ordered, two of them should be built in France, and two in Russia. It would be the first time since 1949 that a NATO member sells such heavy device to Russia. Although President Sarkozy has promised that the ships would be delivered unarmed, the Mistral-class in herself is almost unarmed, as I said in a precedent post: it's a support ship, fit for limited-scale interventions ashore, but needing close protection. This will certainly poison in some way the next discussions between Presidents Obama and Sarkozy, that will take place very soon. To be continued...