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The truth about cats

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Found this precious one on ATS, quoting whole OP

 

Topic started on 21-10-2011 @ 09:13 PM by jimnuggitsThat's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.

 

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

 

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

 

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

 

Freaked out yet? How about these:

 

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

 

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

 

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

 

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

 

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

 

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

 

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

 

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

 

I don't know... I don't like cats, cats don't like me, must be something true in this

:grin:

 

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I loved turtles, had few of them. One even survived desperate jump from loggia 4 stories down to garden (duct tape makes wonders) Furry meowing thing, no way! My Grandpa's home was allways full of cats, village end such, oh those were annoying

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The OP had it backwards: cats actually control the aliens just as much as they control humans. I mean seriously, we all know that cats are the supreme beings in the universe and that none of them will ever take orders from anything or anybody. So it's ridiculous on its face to say that they're being controlled by aliens.

 

What's actually happening is that UFO encounters are carefully planned and managed by cats to cause as much discomfort to both the humans and the aliens as possible, all for their own amusement. The humans get probed, mind-wiped and, if they ever mention any of this, totally discredited amongst their peers for the rest of their lives. The aliens, being much more advanced, are tortured more subtlely. First off, they're dragged far off course (they'd never come to such a backwater as Earth voluntarily), which is a huge embarassment to any star-faring race. Second, their cloaking devices are disabled so they can't just sneak back into the civilized parts of the galaxy, but have to put on the creepy alien act the whole time they're stuck here. And if they ever tell any aliens back home about it, they'll be discredited for the rest of their lives, too. I mean, if it ruins a human to say he's been abducted by aliens, think what a scandal it would be for an alien to admit being abducted by a cat :yikes: .

 

Fortunately, however, all such kitty pranks are limited in scope to the fiendish desires of a single cat. Cats refuse to take orders from anybody, especially other cats. This prevents them from organizing their efforts and totally dominating the universe. But then, no cat wants to be bothered with that anyway--after all, running the universe is a full-time job with many responsibilities. BORING! Cats perfer to follow their whims of the moment rather than work on a set schedule. So for the most part, we can go about our pathetic little lives in peace, but we all know that at any moment, a cat could totally screw us over. And cats enjoy knowing we know that :cool:

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I loved turtles, had few of them. One even survived desperate jump from loggia 4 stories down to garden (duct tape makes wonders) Furry meowing thing, no way! My Grandpa's home was allways full of cats, village end such, oh those were annoying

 

 

back in 90's my cousin's 4 TMNT jump out from the 7th floor - about 20 meters and survived the crash.

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The OP had it backwards: cats actually control the aliens just as much as they control humans. I mean seriously, we all know that cats are the supreme beings in the universe and that none of them will ever take orders from anything or anybody. So it's ridiculous on its face to say that they're being controlled by aliens.

 

What's actually happening is that UFO encounters are carefully planned and managed by cats to cause as much discomfort to both the humans and the aliens as possible, all for their own amusement. The humans get probed, mind-wiped and, if they ever mention any of this, totally discredited amongst their peers for the rest of their lives. The aliens, being much more advanced, are tortured more subtlely. First off, they're dragged far off course (they'd never come to such a backwater as Earth voluntarily), which is a huge embarassment to any star-faring race. Second, their cloaking devices are disabled so they can't just sneak back into the civilized parts of the galaxy, but have to put on the creepy alien act the whole time they're stuck here. And if they ever tell any aliens back home about it, they'll be discredited for the rest of their lives, too. I mean, if it ruins a human to say he's been abducted by aliens, think what a scandal it would be for an alien to admit being abducted by a cat :yikes: .

 

Fortunately, however, all such kitty pranks are limited in scope to the fiendish desires of a single cat. Cats refuse to take orders from anybody, especially other cats. This prevents them from organizing their efforts and totally dominating the universe. But then, no cat wants to be bothered with that anyway--after all, running the universe is a full-time job with many responsibilities. BORING! Cats perfer to follow their whims of the moment rather than work on a set schedule. So for the most part, we can go about our pathetic little lives in peace, but we all know that at any moment, a cat could totally screw us over. And cats enjoy knowing we know that :cool:

you make cats sound like wives!

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you make cats sound like wives!

 

Most wives have been subconsciously programmed by cats to act as the cats' proxies. Thus, while the cats are doing something much more important, such as taking naps, the wives can carry out the boring, day-to-day routine of making husbands' lives Hell :grin: .

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Overlords, joking !! Coward, cruel, lazy, gluttonous, narcissistic, creatures of habit... : except for Western male adult humans, few animals are more predictable than cats !

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Well, having both Cats and Dogs...and loving them both for their differences....I can certainly say..that if you had 100 dogs..and just one cat....there are no prizes for guessing who the Boss is! :grin:

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The street cats near my house have gone to a point where they simply walk in and out around the house like a boss. That is very well despite doing so right in front of people.

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