Take it easy, Profi. It is not of my concern, but if you lost somebody important for you, or experienced something hitting, you should talk it out with somebody who knows you, don´t feel disturbed or ashamed for that
In my opinion , th trouble about death is the pain of your relatives, and when you leave something wrong. I mean, you regret of having done or not, said, or paid something. Just take as much from life, and deserve it, so you can quit in peace, with your debts covered and an extra of pride.
About the fear you might have to death, it comes from a natural instinct wich you have not because there is not a cogent need to live forever, you have just because if your DNA didn´t mark that, you would have extincted thousands of years ago, this feeling is not deeper than what you might thnk being drunk, or getting obsesed with a porn star, just some trash on the veins of your brains, and once death, it just doesn´t matter which kind of s**t you got wasting your brains, copy that?
Abou afterlife, the idea of remaining forever with your beloved is plain beautyful, however, and althought with some doubts, i´m almost sure that doesn´t exist. Anyway, you wouldn´t really like to exist forever, do you?
Personally i´m just an asshole who never saw anybody die, but this is what i think