Its been my experience that it is NEVER too late to turn things around. I went into the Marines when I was 18. After 2 1/2 years there, I switched over to the Navy. By then, I was drinking hard myself, smoking a LOT of pot, and getting into speed and LSD. When I got out back in 84, I hooked up with my second wife who was alcoholic which didn't help my own drinking issue. Later on when things went south with her I started a 5 year meth habit that wound up costing me my wife, home, and career in land surveying. Going thru a vicious cycle of 3 and 4 day tweeks and one or two day crashes doesn't do a thing for your relationships or your sanity. Finally, coming home from a 4 day bender exhausted, I began to hear voices that sounded a lot like the voices of my friends. Trying to escape them, I fled the house in tears. At one point, after dark, I walked slowly across Friars Rd. after dark, looking straight across the road at a sign, not looking left or right, not caring if I was hit by a car or not. I found myself under a highway bridge talking to the voices as the sun come up. I finally made my way home and fell asleep...for a full day. I realized when I woke that I was in serious trouble and needed to do something NOW. So I quit the meth cold turkey but found myself a few weeks later on a dark beach tweeking again. I looked out to sea and at the sky and all I saw was a dark world, no stars, no moon, and no hope. As I watched, a single star became visible. I began to pray...Jesus, you are like that star to me. You are the only light in a world surrounding me in darkness and despair. Please save my life before I die. I humbled myself before the God of this universe and told him he was my only hope. That I knew there was no one else who could help. I asked him to forgive me for all the foolish things I had done and to help me to get free of all my chains. A few days later I was visited by the preacher of my mothers' church. I did not ask him, Jesus arranged it all! The rest is history. I have been free of my drugs, with the exception of tobacco, since 1993. March 1st, 1998 I will have been completly tobacco free! Now the Lord is working on my character, teaching me how to give of myself to others, to be patient, and to give up idols like sex, money, and anything else that comes first before God. He will prevail because his power knows no limits, and my eyes are ever on him. He ask only that I repent of my evil ways, to obey his few commandments, and to seek him. Ive never asked to be rich, but I have a home now, a third wife who actually loves and adores me, a job as a detention officer where I can tell others what God has done for me. We are selling the house soon now and I am quitting the jail. We will probably wind back up in California or maybe move somewhere else in Montana. But Im not afraid. God has been with me now all these years. He will be with you too if you give him the chance. Jesus died to give us a way back to God, he is the way, the truth, and the light. You haven't committed a sin he cant forgive unless you reject him. If he can create this world, he can re-create you too. I encourage you to look up a Seventh Day Adventist minister in your town. There is also the link in my sig for a start. When you have tried everything you can think of to get your life straight, then give God a try. That will be a witness that will leave you breathless. You are in my prayers James.
Down the Dark Road
Drugs and sex and rock n' roll
with a lot of alcohol thrown in.
Lying,cussin' and fighting,
thats the way my lifes'been...
walkin down the dark road.
A good wife home alone
sobbing in our bed.
Her husbands' out on the street
and not with her instead...
we're slippin'down the dark road.
A little bag of crystal meth
and some reefer in my hand,
lonely times on a beach
crying in the sand...
I'm speeding down the dark road.
I'm sad,lonely,and shedding tears,
my mind now is not so quick.
Caused by satans'fog in my head
so dead cold & evil & thick...
Nothin'but fear and death Bro',
racing down the dark road.
I've lost a job & lost a house
& lost my beautiful wife too.
I was even fixin'to lose my soul
till "HALLELUEAH!!!"Jesus'love came thru...
There's a lite shinin'down the dark road.
He held down his hand to me
this man from calvary.
He picked me up and cleaned me off
then said,"Jeff follow me..."
No more goin'down the dark road.
There was such a huge burden
and guilt more than I could bare.
But Jesus took it all away
just because he cares...
He's done an awful lot for me,
I ride now for a different brand.
an I'm mighty proud to say it out loud
that"JESUS IS MY FRIEND!"
A victorys'been won...down the dark road.
(written to honor my friend...and to say thank you...jbg)
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