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  • 2 months later...
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Posted

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Posted

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

 

 

LOL.

 

 

Once insulted by an arrogant Italian tour guide, Chuck Norris round-house kicked him to the ground. The tower of Pisa now leans.

Posted

Chuck Norris is so bad ass, he got '24' canceled.

Chuck Norris was originally to play jack bauer. however when he killed all the terrorists, defused the bombs, had a beer and got his wife pregnant in only 12 and a half minutes, the producers looked for someone who could stretch it to the full 24 hours.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Chuck Norris abducts aliens.

 

:rofl: And he probes them with a boot to their azzes.

 

And somewhere in the cosmos a little alien is building a mashed potato statue of a cowboy boot chanting "this means something".

Posted

blink.gifchuck norris almost died of a heart attack. But his other six hearts keep it alive until the doctors arrived.

ps: not original, but my fav...

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Could Chuck Norris throw a punch so powerful that even Chuck Norris could not withstand it ?

 

Chuck Norris can withstand his own punch and its for the sake of others that he does this. The moment that he chooses not to withstand his own punch is when the appocalypse begins.

 

 

p.s. Head shrink questions like these causes Chuck Norris to loose patience. Its a formula for disaster:

 

impatience + Chuck Norris = appocalypse now

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Three auditing firms, four consulting firms, ten law firms, one year of work for the entire NASA Research Department, one industrial complex specially built in India and powered by a devoted nuclear power plant, one ton of adamantium alloys compressed up to 1300 bars, one special blessing by six heads of various churches...

 

... have been necessary to cast a quite realistic model of Chuck Norris as a Mr Potato Head.

 

Twenty-four lawyers were reported missing during the first groundwork, trying to approach Mr Norris with their iconoclast project (RIP). The toys firm is expected to go bankrupt after having produced one single model. The giant container ship which carried the model mysteriously sank, due to an incorrect docking of the model in some people's view, due to Colonel Braddock's Curse according to some others.

 

 

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