Fubar512 1,350 Posted January 8, 2009 Ever been in an accident? The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to briefly summarize the details of an accident. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my windows was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emp_Palpatine 501 Posted January 8, 2009 Lol. I wonder how I should have described my two-month old accident... "I collided with my two-wheeler a vehicle that wasn't there". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Syrinx 13 Posted January 8, 2009 According to my Mum, I was an accident... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eraser_tr 29 Posted January 8, 2009 Some of those drivers definitely have a real sense of humor, clearly knowing how absurd what they wrote was....I hope so at least. My accident described: A parked car collided with me during my attempt to pass it. (my car skidded on black ice pulling up my driveway and bumped into the family SUV.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MigBuster 2,884 Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." lol those bloody pedestrians! Edited January 8, 2009 by MigBuster Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MigBuster 2,884 Posted January 8, 2009 According to my Mum, I was an accident... Aww everyone give her a big hug Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charlielima 328 Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) Hmm. Didn't we just hear a few years ago an excessively hostile EP-3 killed a mig using the inhumane tactic of strait and level flight? 4 engine prop ACM must be a very sensitive program. I don't see any P-3s around Fallon, Nellis, doing that Top Gun, or Red Flag stuff. :ph34r: CL Edited January 8, 2009 by charlielima Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MigBuster 2,884 Posted January 8, 2009 Some of those drivers definitely have a real sense of humor, clearly knowing how absurd what they wrote was....I hope so at least. My accident described: A parked car collided with me during my attempt to pass it. (my car skidded on black ice pulling up my driveway and bumped into the family SUV.) My take on that would be: A car stopped in front of me - then hit me as i was trying to change channels on my radio! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lexx_Luthor 57 Posted January 9, 2009 An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. Car LOD must be in car folder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Falcon161 3 Posted January 9, 2009 According to my Mum, I was an accident... Awww dont sorry Syrinx My parents tell me they found me in a box of Kittylitter on their doorstep. Those were fricking funny man some of those people had to be high when writing those reports cause I have never heard such excuses Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
macelena 1,070 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Aww everyone give her a big hug You mean her or her mum? edit: what did my mum mean about "damn the idea of yours, honey..."? Edited January 9, 2009 by macelena Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zagnut 0 Posted January 9, 2009 I had an accident a couple years ago... It was snowing and I was trying to make a left turn when another car coming from the other direction was ot turning. I tried to stop but slid in the snow, and he hit me and beer went everywhere! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mannie 21 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Ha!!! If I had a native American Indian name it would have been "A punctured condom." Theres an accident for you. Edited January 9, 2009 by Mannie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Bongodriver 20 Posted January 9, 2009 I had alot of accidents in my miss-spent youth. if I had to write reports on a couple they would sound like: 'I rolled the car onto its side because I was racing with a friend in some country lanes and he saw the sharp bend first'. 1 week later ( car repaired from the surprisingly little damage of being rolled on to it's side) 'the car spontaneously combusted due to some battery acid from a previous accident having corroded a fuel pipe under the hood' (it was quite a bang I can tell you, that pipe was making a very fine spray so it was like a bomb, the bonnet (hood) looked like the dome of the taj mahal) and yes I have also bent a couple of aircraft, both times it was wing tips (luckily I fly lear 45's now, they have bent the wingtips for me already) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JediMaster 451 Posted January 9, 2009 I've never had an accident over maybe 5 mph. None were interesting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DWCAce 19 Posted January 9, 2009 Hmm. Didn't we just hear a few years ago an excessively hostile EP-3 killed a mig using the inhumane tactic of strait and level flight? 4 engine prop ACM must be a very sensitive program. I don't see any P-3s around Fallon, Nellis, doing that Top Gun, or Red Flag stuff. :ph34r: CL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DWCAce 19 Posted January 9, 2009 Ya know how they say "Stay awake, take a break for saftey's sake?" Well, here's what happens when you don't. I got hit in June '07 by a kid in his pickup. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+SkippyBing 8 Posted January 9, 2009 I think I've had six accidents, it gets hard to keep track. This includes causing £1800 of damage to my Dad's car driving into a tree 9 days after passing my test, writing said car off a few months later (I'm not allowed to drive my parent's cars now, 15 years after), clipped a hedge and wrote off a mini (Cornish hedges are basically stone walls with plants growing out of them), parked a mini backwards in a ditch (towed it out and drove off), lost the left front wheel of the same mini, boy do those things go a long way, and finally wrote that mini off at a cross roads. Oh and according to my Mum I'm special..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fubar512 1,350 Posted January 9, 2009 I've been involved in a number of accidents in my 33+ years of driving. Most of them have been nothing more serious than dents and paint scrapes. However, as a passenger in someone else's car, I've been in two rollovers! The first took place during the mid-1970s, and involved a friend with Jackie Stewert aspirations, driving an Opel GT on a winding country road. He overcooked his entry into a sharp corner, understeered off the road, and onto a plowed field. Had he simply let go of the steering and stayed off the brake pedal, the only damage would have been to his pride. Instead, he tried countersteering and wound up in a broadslide at possibly 30 MPH. He still had a chance to save it then, but he decided to apply reverse lock, and for some Godforsaken reason, stood on the brakes as he was doing so. All I remember was the sky and earth trading places at least twice before we came to rest, with both of us hanging upside down from our seat belts. Incredibly, the doors still opened, and it was only when I got out and saw the top of the Opel's roof crushed down to within inches of the door sills, that I realized how lucky we'd been. The second rollover involved a friend who fell asleep at the wheel. We managed to cross SIX lanes of traffic (three in each direction), without hitting anyone, and the car rolled when it left the road and fell off the steep (and thankfully), sandy shoulder. In both incidents, everyone walked away without a scratch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Jarhead1 27 Posted January 9, 2009 I been in two accidents, one I was driving, I changed lanes to pass someone, and the car in front stomped on his brakes, I stomped on mine, the car slid and BOOM, rearender. The second one, me and my 2 buddies and a friend were heading to a rodeo to compete, he hit the gas, the truck hit a patch of dirt, we skidded the back end around, the tire caught on the curb and over we went, right into someones field out in front of their house. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
+Muesli 2,161 Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) When I was on a humanitarian convoy in Bosnia during the war (in 1994 for me) near Konjic (between Zenica and Mostar) I drove a Mercedes benz MB 290GD Ambulance and I was almost hit by a Bosnian T-34/85 who swung around a mountain pass corner a bit too eagerly. Missed me by a hair which I am happy with. the paperwork it would have caused..... Edited January 9, 2009 by muesli Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coot 1 Posted January 9, 2009 I thought my windows was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. Man these cracked my up thanks for the pick me up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
macelena 1,070 Posted January 9, 2009 Now THIS is an accident Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caesar 305 Posted January 10, 2009 "My two-wheeled vehicle, having gained sentience, decided that it wanted to drive itself and thereupon ejected me through the use of excessive break pressure" would roughly describe the only accident I've had in the terms of the above examples (~7 years ago). Fortunately, I flew left instead of right (no object vs. hard object in ejection path.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman 1 Posted January 10, 2009 yes those were great.. as said before thanks for the pick me up i needed it....just broke up with my gf of 15 years..... yeah thats right... ok now that i've said that i don't wanna hikack the tread any commints bout that plz pm me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
