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Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

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FALLUJA, Iraq (Reuters) - Hollywood action star Chuck Norris, known for his martial arts prowess and tough-guy image, has become a cult figure among the U.S. military in Iraq and an unlikely hero for some in Iraq's security forces. A small cardboard shrine is dedicated to Norris at a U.S. military helicopter hub...

 

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Yeah! That's funny!

 

And they should make Arnold Schwarzenegger governor of California.......

Hahahah....."legend"....."icon".......hahahahaha!

Before you know it, a movie actor will be president!

 

 

 

Muesli

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Yeah! That's funny!

 

And they should make Arnold Schwarzenegger governor of California.......

Hahahah....."legend"....."icon".......hahahahaha!

Before you know it, a movie actor will be president!

 

 

 

Muesli

 

......Oh wait. :ok:

 

Now how did that saying go again? It took chuck norris five seasons to save a town in Texas from petty criminals, meanwhile it took Jack Bauer one day to save the entire country from terrorists, and he's done it six times.

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Guest 531_Ghost
Yeah! That's funny!

 

And they should make Arnold Schwarzenegger governor of California.......

Hahahah....."legend"....."icon".......hahahahaha!

Before you know it, a movie actor will be president!

 

 

 

Muesli

 

Ummmmm been there done that and in my opinion, one of our best Presidents in the last 50 years...

ronald_reagan.jpg

 

Oh, and he was the Govenor of CA long before Arnold Was even thinking about being a wannabe Govenor.

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wasn`t it "Demolition man" where they made fun of Arnold is the president of the US as I saw this movie last week again I laught my A$$ of ...

 

This is america, where dreams becomes true!

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"Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter," reads one and "Chuck Norris divides by zero," reads another.

 

Too true - havnt seen a single film of his that I haven't laughed at before switching over

 

:tumbleweed:

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Ummmmm been there done that and in my opinion, one of our best Presidents in the last 50 years...

[/img]

 

Oh, and he was the Govenor of CA long before Arnold Was even thinking about being a wannabe Govenor.

 

actualy he's ranked consitantly in the all time top 10 in most polls usually around 6-7 ,prob in time will be in to 3 after Washington and Lincoln Chuck Noris may be a pres one day but there will never be another Reagan in this lifetime.

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1.Chuck Norris uses live rattlesnakes for condoms.

 

2. Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris Walked on Jesus.

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Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with all the women in the world once a month and they bleed for a week afterward.

 

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

 

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

 

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

 

Before e-mail was invented, Chuck Norris would attatch messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them to their destination.

Edited by gosquidgo

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Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with all the women in the world once a month and they bleed for a week afterward.

 

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

 

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

 

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

 

Before e-mail was invented, Chuck Norris would attatch messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them to their destination.

 

that's the funniest post I've ever read! great stuff, and all true...

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If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

 

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

 

Jack Bauer’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

 

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

 

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

 

Chuck Norris wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

 

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

 

There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.

 

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

 

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

 

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

 

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

 

Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

 

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

 

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

 

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

 

Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

 

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 FBI Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

 

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

 

Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

 

One bank did a commercial with Jack Bauer in front of a vault. They haven't been robbed since.

 

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

 

Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.

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Jack Bauer sux....ask Chuck Norris....

Sure man!

Those who are unrespectfull toward Chuck will endure his powerfull wrath and get roundhouse kicked in the face!

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loved the article...

 

i know a lot of "facts" of him... some are also funny in hebrew and even some were invented in hebrew :]

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i'll reveal you all one great thing

chuck norris and jack bauer are two identities of the same person!

you could think that it's impossible because they are totally different.

but he can change body and face in 11milliseconds.

he can and you can't

why?

try to ask him!!!!!!!!!!

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